1. Need assistance with luggage?
Help is always at HAND.
2. There's a resident masseur!
He may not be a licensed massage therapist, but he definitely puts his entire body and soul into his work!
3. There's a super helpful doorman who will show you kindly to your room!
With skin so pale, he also functions as a fantastic nightlight if you ever find yourself returning to your room in the small hours of the morning.
4. Five Star Cuisine!
All sourced locally, the food on offer is to die for. If you're feeling particularly adventurous, you could try the chef's special!
5. There's a range of spa Treatments!
Fancy a relaxing getaway? With a number of experimental spa treatments on offer, you're bound to find one perfect for your needs.
6. You'll have a bed so soft that you'll never want to get out of it!
And THESE mattresses employ the somewhat controversial feature of absolutely no support whatsoever! You will simply sink into your slumber each night!
7. There's state of the art air conditioning!
Say goodbye to the sweltering heat! This air-con system is at the forefront of pioneering technology and has two settings: on AND off!
8. Fresh flowers will be placed in your room everyday!
And don't worry if you can't stand the sight of those pesky flower heads because neither can the Addams Family! They have absolutely NO time for unnecessary decoration.
9. You couldn't beat its location!
The grounds - littered with works of art depicting the rich history of those who once lived on the property - are perfect for a night time stroll!
10. Quality reading material is available on request.
You'll never be bored again with such a well stocked library!
11. They have an impressive array of daily activities.
Forget birdwatching and football tournaments, the Addams Family Mansion will introduce you to the most thrilling of recreational activities!
12. And relaxing built-for-comfort outdoor furniture!
Want to lounge by the pool and catch some sun? Well, you might have to compromise on the pool and probably the sun, but that's alright, isn't it?
13. They have the hippest cocktail bar in town!
But don't forget to pace yourself -- these brews come shaken, stirred, and pseudo-hallucinogenic!
14. And stunning live theatre!
Perfect for absorbing some culture!
15. You'd never want to leave...
Would you like to stay at the Addams Family Mansion?
Let us know in the comments below!