10 Things You'll Only Understand If You Are The Most Paranoid Person In The Universe

Like seriously, are you sure you want to read this?!


1. Accidentally break something? Have fun getting arrested.

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2. If you go bungee jumping, the rope WILL snap and you WILL fall to your death.

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It's just a fact.

3. Spot a mysterious figure alone in the woods? It's not a coincidence that it's the one place no one will hear you scream...

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Stay indoors.

4. Your food looks a little off color... Enjoy your food poisoning!

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If you keep garnishing everything with people's tongues, that will happen!

5. Shaving with a straight razor is the equivalent of playing roulette with your life.

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6. Walking down a dark street all alone? You ARE being followed.

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7. Your first kiss with your crush WILL involve a bunch of teeth bashing together!

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8. Your friend's own ridiculous paranoia will make you ridiculously paranoid too.

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9. Seaweed touching your leg in the ocean is actually a shark about to bite off your leg.

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10. Trying not to laugh while drinking WILL be the end of you one day.

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We hope we haven't made you paranoid!

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