22 Times Raphael Slayed Us!

Pun intended.


1. "Coffin implies wooden box. We have caskets now. They’re made of 14 karat gold."

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Yeah Jace, stop being so offensive.

2. "I’m afraid your sidekick’s quite right. And the clock is ticking. Tick tock, people!"

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3. "It’s not against the law to rob my own grave."

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Is it , tho? How clear is the law here, actually? 

4. "You do know that this isn’t a hotel."

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5. “Typical Shadowhunter, always underestimating a Vampire.”

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And vice-versa, apparently!

6. "Just watch and learn from the master."

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Uhm. Actually, yes. Okay. 

7. “Clary, you really need to stop barging in here.”

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Clary learning to knock, though. It'd kind of ruin a lot of the fun. 

8. "Honestly? I just got this jacket."

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A lot to unpack here. Where do vampires shop? Do they have a tailor? Is the tailor a vampire? Where, specifically does Raphael shop? 

9. "I'm glad you brought everybody here to witness your demise."

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10. "I might be a vampire, but I was raised a good Catholic."

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Same for us. But in reverse. 

11. "Once reborn you emerge hungry. Very hungry. Drink up."

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Simon is lucky to have such a great mentor.

12. "It means he’s where everybody goes when this happens. His own personal hell."

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That moment where you felt sorry for Raphael! He's so deep.

13. "I really hate fidgeting."

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#thestruggle

14. "You should put a muzzle on that mutt."

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Basically all of the werewolf-related puns. Including: "The stray waits outside" and "Easy there, Fido."

15. "It’s all about presentation and quality produce."

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Did anyone else think this sounded actually refreshing? 

16. "Let’s just say we invest early and often."

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Downworld financial planning is everything. 

17. "Well, well, well. Baby’s first words!"

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Aw. 

18. "I told you you’re a hostage. Accept it!"

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19. “I can’t believe you would do this to me. Blackmail.”

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There's real pain in those eyes! #LeaveRaphaelAlone

20. "Stay. Good dog."

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Okay. Everyone calm down. 

21. "Even starvation can't shut you up."

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Fact.                              

22. “For Shadowhunters you don’t seem to do a lot of...Shadow hunting.”

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Raphael, saying what everyone else is thinking since 1937.

Raphael is the best Interim Chapter President the New York Vampires have ever had! Probably! (It's a long history.)

What is your favorite Raphael quote?

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